Somewhere between the flurry of excitement surrounding your engagement and the Hokey Pokey at your reception, someone failed to tell you how hard marriage can actually be. So how do you avoid the trap that is boredom during marriage? And if you’ve already fallen into it, how do you get out? Here some tips to re-ignite a slow-burning spark and ways to make your marriage last.
9 Simple Ways To Make Your Marriage Last:
1 . Laugh together
Not only is laughter the best medicine (don’t you just love clichés?), it is also a bonding mechanism. When you and your partner share a laugh, you’re sharing a moment of realization: both of you agree that the same thing is funny. This might be the first time you agreed on anything in months, so enjoy the moment. Moving forward, make sure to giggle along when your hubby snickers over something or be diligent about creating opportunities to share a good guffaw (watching home movies of your Aunt Thelma shaking her groove thang at your wedding reception or catching a show at a local comedy club, for example).
2 . Text your way to Flirtsville
Sometimes it’s hard for couples to reconnect after a little “time off” in the bedroom. If you’re raring to get things rolling again, but the thought of hand-holding and other one-time displays of affection would now feel out of place, start small. Instead of texting your bestie about your fab new fish recipe, text a little something naughty (or nice) to your hubby. Didn’t get a reaction the first time around? No worries, he probably just blew it off as a one- time thing. Try again. In fact, keep trying until he either jumps on board or tells you to stop (and we seriously doubt he’d do that!)
3. Get A Life
Let’s be truthful. After many years of marriage, conversation (if you can work any in between the demands of kids and work, that is) can be a little dull. If you can’t think of anything to say to your spouse that doesn’t have to do with household obligations or your children, it’s time to get a life. Try talking about something you can both relate to, but that shows you have interests outside of your home life together. It’s always fun to get to know someone, so take that cue and get to know a side of your hubby you’ve never really explored…and let him do the same for you!
4. Watch A Show Together
Sure, there’s all kinds of chatter these days about how technology is ruining marriages and families, but let’s face it, when you sit down to watch a show with your husband, you are both present and engaged in the same activity at the same time. Bonus: you’ll have something to talk about after the show is done…and you might even share a laugh. So make a date to tune in to an awesome show and enjoy the “side-effects” of a little escapism.
5. Say what you need
Kindly express to one another what you are needing in the relationship. Take turns, and listen carefully to what your partner has to say. Be honest with each other, and make suggestions about how you can help fulfill those needs. Talk about changes you can make to improve the relationship, and have your partner do the same. You need your partner to give you a guide to what they need for a happy marriage and you need to provide the same information to them.
6. Make Time For Each Other
When presented with the idea of going on a vacation or having a date night together, many couples say they have no time. Life is very busy, but at times it is essential to make the time required to save your marriage. Take time off of work and go on a vacation, even if it’s just a weekend. Take a Saturday and go on a date night. Making time for just the two of you has been shown to dramatically improve marriages that are on the rocks. If the only time you take for each other is at the end of the day, when you’re both tired, to vent your frustrations, you need to take time for relaxation and to hit the “restart” button on your marriage.
7. Celebrate Your Marriage
There is a certain day each year carved out just for you two to celebrate your union….it’s called your anniversary. Remember? While many couples forgo any amount of hoopla surrounding the day, be sure to take the time to actually celebrate what you’ve accomplished together. Select a great card, then add your own sentiments. Compliment him on all the positive attributes that keeps you lusting after him. Tell him how much you appreciate what he’s done for you/ your family/the dog he rescued from certain death. Tell him what he means to you and how your life is positively affected by his presence. Most of all, remind him that he’s special, and we think that he’ll be so touched, you can expect the same kind of treatment next year.
8. Respect Differences
Thrifty Jinxy shared her best tip-“(I have been married a little over 8 years.) Learn when it is better to just agree to disagree rather than to argue. There are certain issues/circumstances where you and your husband may never see eye to eye. You can choose to either keep revisiting the same issue over and over again and continue to argue, or you can accept the fact that you each have your own opinion and may never convince the other to change their mind, so it is better to be respectful of each other’s view and live in harmony, rather than to argue.”
You are two different people. It is ok to have different opinions and desires. You should both respect the other person’s feelings and work toward compromise when needed.
9. Work On it
I remember long before I was married, I asked my grandmother who recently had her 60th wedding anniversary what the secret was to make your marriage last. She told me that sometimes, it isn’t always easy, that “sometimes marriage is work.” I think all marriages hit rough patches and when I have one, I remember to work though it. It is worth it after all!
“Love is like a precious plant. You can’t just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it’s going to get on by itself. You’ve got to keep on watering it. You’ve got to really look after it and nurture it.”- John Lenon
Take time and make the effort to stay connected (or reconnect) with your spouse and reap the rewards of a solid and long-lasting marriage. I hope you find these ways to make your marriage last helpful. What’s your best tip for how to make a marriage last?