I often get asked about dating and being a single dad. When do I find the time? What do I tell my son? How do I talk about the demands and life of a single dad with women? Life for single dads can get difficult to navigate through the maze of responsibilities, time constraints, and kids. Dating women while raising kids at home is like walking a tightrope. If you don’t know how to maintain the balance between both, you might as well fall off and land on your head. You have to stop forcing the issue and know that it will happen when it is right. There is not one “foolproof, right” way to find and date a great woman. However, there are some solid dating tips for single dads.
Tips for Dating Again After Divorce
The Right Time to Start Dating Again
Many single dads worry about the right time to get stated with dating again. But the right time varies from person to person, and depends on their specific situation. If you’re completely finished with your divorce, or if you are finding it difficult to adjust to single parenting and having a hard time with you child, then it’s not a very good time to start dating.
You will have relatives and friends tell you to start dating soon but they haven’t walked in your shoes and don’t understand all the details and factors involved. Look at yourself and see if it’s the right time start dating. Don’t allow peer pressure get to you and pressure you into dating scene. If you’re not ready yet, you’re not ready – it’s that simple.
Don’t Rush, Take It Slow
According to many marriage counsellors, single dads who are young tend to get too serious, too soon. They enter the dating scene too early. When you haven’t figured out your emotions own well enough, you might mistake lust for love and regret it later. Single dads, no matter what their age, should to be more responsible with their dating adventures and exercise restraint before getting serious. Remember, it’s not about just your life alone anymore, your child is involved too. Be a responsible dad.
How to Get Back in “The Scene”
Did you know many women find single dads more appealing to date? Single dads are regarded as caring and mature and great relationship material. Single dads are more likely to meet women who are looking for a lasting relationship rather than just a fling.
Online dating sites are a great place to get started but single dads also shouldn’t overlook the potential opportunities they meet on a daily basis. Many dads still meet have partners the old fashioned way – i.e. coffee shops, grocery stores, parks, business outings, etc. The most important thing about dating is to be open to new opportunities and not shy away from the possibilities.
The Balancing Act
Single dads are often terrified by how their kids will react to their dating. Will it be negative? Will the kids be jealous? Don’t allow these thoughts to hold you back from making a confession about your dating activities to your kids. Your kids are your family and they are supposed to know what you are up to.
Also, once you’re going out on dates, it might be complicated for you to spend your needed time with your children. Looking after your kids is your first and foremost priority and if your kids are informed about your dating life, you can expect cooperation and acceptance from them. No matter how much you like the new woman in your world, your children still come first (and if she is truly a great mate, she will understand that).
Respect Her Priorities
Even though you’re dating someone as a single dad, you need to look at her from a fresh perspective. You should not undermine her expectations and that fact that she is looking to date you first – before you and your kids. This is your time to get back to adults relationships and interaction, don’t waste it – embrace and enjoy it. Avoid talking a lot about your kids on a date and treat her in the same way you would want to be treated. Remember, it is not all about you!
Good luck getting back in the dating pool and please share below any helpful hints or experiences that you might have for dating as a single dad!
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angela@spinachtiger says
Good points. I think I would add not to introduce your kids to someone until you’re sure they will be around, and to limit affection with your new girlfriend in front of your kids to pretty much zero for a while. The dynamic is especially important if you’re a dad with girls. They will feel replaced!