I wish I could say, to breastfeed or not to breastfeed is the question of the moment. However, unfortunately it seems the issue has moved into an all out battle amongst mommy-hood clans. Formula vs. breast, which is best? To be honest, I have no interest in getting all up in arms over the issue. After all, these arms are busy holding a very happy, but very hungry baby boy. I dare say if a woman cares enough to make it known how strongly she feels about her choices in feeding her child, then it seems silly to think that she isn’t making the decision that is the absolute best for her and her situation. So whether or not you choose breastfeeding I wonder, why can’t we breastfeed and still get along with those who don’t? No need for a breastfeeding controversy. Here is my breastfeeding experience so far.
Breastfeeding or not, we can still get along
Is it ok not to breastfeed? I am a supporter of breastfeeding. However, in no way, shape, or form is my goal to pass judgement or claim that my decision is the right decision for everyone else. These are just my thoughts and a very honest look at my experience breastfeeding. I share in hopes that it might help you make the right decision for themself.
To breastfeed or not?
I never really thought twice about whether or not I would breastfeed when I became pregnant with my son, it was just automatically part of my plans. I’m always prone to pick options that I feel have the most health benefits, that I have the most direct control over, and when it comes to nutrition, the purest form or ingredient.
There’s a lot of talk about breastfeeding being the most “natural” option, and therefore assumed to be the best option. It’s important to realize that what is natural for one woman is not always the most natural for another. While it is completely natural for your body to produce that colostrum close to your due date, realizing you’re leaking into your favorite (and probably only one that fits at that point) bra can come as somewhat of a shock. And whether you dabbled in bra stuffing at an earlier age or not, keeping those breast pads in place you’ll most likely soak through during the first months after delivery is going to be an adjustment.
Women whose mother or family members did not breastfeed are more likely to be uncomfortable with the idea of breastfeeding. But we should also realize that women choose not to breastfeed for many reasons. Whether you agree or not it shouldn’t affect the way we support one another.
Is breastfeeding painful?
In short, yes, it can be painful at first. But the pain does not last. If it does you may need to revisit proper latch procedures and make sure you have the right breastfeeding essentials. I’ll be honest I was in the doctors office crying at my son’s two week appointment because he was hungry and I literally didn’t know if I could bare feeding him again my nipples were so sore. I wanted to throw in the towel that day but I am so glad I stuck with it. I practice on demand feeding and during that time my son was eating sometimes every 30 minutes.
The first amazing thing my pediatrician did for me was smile and tell me what a wonderful job I was doing. Right along with the chapped and bleeding nipples were some pretty beat up feelings of inadequacy. When I finally fully realized that I am the sole provider of nourishment for my precious baby, I was overwhelmed. I was emotionally and physically drained.
I can’t stress enough how important emotional support can be during this time. And nipple cream, and heating pads, those were a life saver. My pediatrician recommended pumping to give myself a break. That way his father also had a chance to bottle feed him. This also gave me some much needed rest time. Introducing a bottle early on in breastfeeding can sometimes lead to nipple confusion. However my son, the avid eater that he is, never had a problem.
I’ve said it before, we need to dispel the notion that something natural equals easy. Although my son was born the world’s smartest genius (I’m sure yours was too) he was learning the whole feeding thing right along side me. With time, babies get better at feeding and latching on. I think around the 3-4 month mark is when everything started smoothing out for me. With exception to some teething incidents (ow), feeding my son is painless for me now.
Breastfeeding for the modest mamma
Listen, I am not the “naked type,” by which I mean I have never been comfortable just hanging out nude around people, mother, sisters, gal friends included. But there is something that happens after breastfeeding for awhile, after having a boob out so often on demand. The anxiety that a screaming baby imbues far outweighs that of an exposed nipple. I have gotten to the point where I have to remember other people are present.
Going out in public with your little one requires quite a bit of breastfeeding gear and planning. It only took me one time wearing a complicated dress in public and having to figure out how to breastfeed without getting completely naked to make me realize that the travel and feeding thing takes some getting used to. But really that isn’t so different from having to have formula prepared and toting a tiny little human around on their own schedule of pooping, peeing, sleeping, and feeding.
I wish there wasn’t such a fuss over breastfeeding in public. As desensitized as we are to a boob here or there on TV you’d think we’d have move past seeing a small glimpse of one in public for the pure intentions of nursing a child. Siiiiiiggggghhh…..(stuffy society I’m giving you the side eye). If all the energy that was expended into fighting it out over formula or breast was channeled into making positive changes in society maybe we’d actually get somewhere. If we all focused together to make sure women had positive support in their jobs and in public, how beautiful could that be? Whether you are breastfeeding or pulling out a formula bottle in public, it can be stressful. Onlookers are not always the kindest audience to a fussy, hungry baby.
Is breastfeeding worth the stress?
Abso-friggin-lutely. I believe in the special health qualities of breastfeeding. While you can adequately meet the needs of your baby by formula feeding if you choose to, you are missing out on one very important benefits package for someone, and that’s you. One of the reasons I support breastfeeding is that despite the challenges it can bring, the rewards for myself have far surpassed them. I think it is an important experience for the mother. Believing this does not discount the fact that there are incredible amounts of other rewarding and important aspects to participate in if you choose to formula feed.
Breastfeeding is an intimate learning experience between mother and child. Pregnancy of course does this in a way too, but breastfeeding has given me a certain new confidence about my body, in a completely non-sexualized fashion. It has become a very peaceful part of my life. Nothing calms by son faster and more effectively than breastfeeding. One of my friends who had a baby several months ahead of me was telling me how much she loved and missed the experience of breastfeeding while I was still pregnant. I remember thinking it odd that she would actually miss it . I can completely relate now that I’ve actually experienced it first hand.
Breastfeeding how long?
My original goal was to breastfeed for six months. I thought surely I would be ready to wean at this point. Yet the six month mark has come and gone and I barely noticed, and I could not imagine making the switch at this point.
The CDC says, “The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that infants be exclusively breastfed for about the first 6 months with continued breastfeeding along with introducing appropriate complementary foods for 1 year or longer.”
The WHO and UNICEF recommend, “early initiation of breastfeeding within 1 hour of birth; exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months of life; and introduction of nutritionally-adequate and safe complementary (solid) foods at 6 months together with continued breastfeeding up to 2 years of age or beyond.”
Conclusion
The bottom line, whatever your choice, mothers should be supporting each other. After all, there are more than enough other things we have to worry about! Regardless, I just want you to know, like that Playtex 2-inch strap brazier you won’t admit you’ve fallen in love with, I support you fully and unpretentiously in your decision to breastfeed or not to breastfeed.
Feel free to share your thoughts on breastfeeding in the comments below.
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Simone says
I think you are right, Lindsey. My mom breastfeed me and all of my siblings…I guess that’s why I don’t have objections to breastfeeders. And, I do plan to breastfeed whenever me and my husband have children. But, I never thought about all the planning that goes along with breastfeeding and the PAIN. (yikes!) I really really really want to be a good mom whenever I am one, and its comforting to know that everything doesn’t have to be perfect.
Thank you being SO transparent!
Lindsey R. Allen says
You’re welcome Simone,
The pain is temporary! Just like labor, it’s been well worth it for me 🙂
Erica Loop says
Thank you for making a point of not being judgmental when it comes to moms who don’t breastfeed. I had planned on breastfeeding my son, but I had to go on medication right after giving birth (I had pre-eclampsia and my blood pressure never went back down) that would be passed through my breast milk. I wasn’t able to nurse my son, and I felt like some people were judging me.
Lindsey R. Allen says
Absolutely! Everyones experience is different. Nobody should try to rob you of your joy during such an awesome time, it really has gone so fast already.
Breastfeeding Tips at Uplifting Families says
Breastfeeding is awesome and I am thankful that I had the opportunity to breastfeed all three of my children. I do wish that people would stop getting their undies in a wad when they see a photo or someone nursing their baby in public. The baby is usually covering the breast for the most part and you can only see enough skin that is similar to wearing a bikini.
Lindsey R. Allen says
I know right!? I see some middle schoolers showing more skin then that nowadays! lol
Heather Holmes says
This should not be a battle! It is such a personal decision. Women should support and raise each other up, not pick each other apart. Great blog Lindsey!
Lindsey R. Allen says
Thank you Heather! It’s so true the animosity is so unnecessary. Everyone has a story, if we took the time to hear it I doubt thered be so much judgement.
Tammi @ Momma's Meals says
I’m with you!! I just posted on my site about Mother’s needing to stick together a little more. In the end we all do what’s best for us and our families, so who cares if it’s different! I personally chose not to breastfeed either of my two children however would NEVER judge and NEVER be uncomfortable around anyone that wanted to breastfeed. Us Momma’s have so many other things to worry about why must this topic be one of them! Great post!!