As summer approaches, so does the inevitable parade of moving trucks. Families relocating for family, work, and a variety of other reasons. This is definitely true in our world, and it is hitting very close to home this summer, as my son’s best friend is moving away. Needless to say, my little man is sad about losing his friend and this is a tough time for him. How to deal with a best friend moving away can actually be tough at any age! It may be emotionally challenging, but I will share ways to stay connected and process the transition.
A Friend Moving Away? Tips To Help Your Child Feel Better
My son and I have talked a lot about how moving away from friends and family can be hard. Thankfully with modern technology, he and his best mate can stay in touch… texting, video chat, Skype, etc. However, it still isn’t the same as daily excursions to the park with his friend. My son is realizing that life changes and, to paraphrase the old saying, the only constant is change.
As he and I have thought about the upcoming move, I have focused on ideas that would make his friend moving away easier for him. Here are a a few tips that I have discovered (through a lot of time and research) that I hope will help you out in a similar situation when your child’s friends are moving away.
IT IS REAL
When a friend is moving away, there is a loss. This hole can be filled by a new friendship but it usually takes some effort and time to feel that close, safe, and comfortable with a new friend. Here is some advice on how to help your child deal with a friend moving away.
When a child is moving away, this is a big event in the world of a young child. You should be as compassionate as possible for as long as they need to grieve. Some child experts say that children who are dealing with the loss of a friend who is moving, can experience the same type of grief and anxiety that an older person may feel in the event of a death. Don’t belittle their feelings by telling them to get over it or move on.
STAY POSITIVE
Regardless of your child’s age, make sure that you make it clear you will help them stay in touch with their friend. For younger children, it may be helpful to show them on a map the distance of the move so that they can fully grasp the situation. Additionally, as I mentioned earlier, remind your child that they will be able to connect electronically as often as possible.
HELP YOUR CHILD STAY (AND GET) INTERESTED IN THEIR OTHER FRIENDS
This has been big in our house. When one friend moves, a child may be ultra focused on that one friend as they try to spend as much time with them as possible. This can make moving day even more difficult. Encourage your child to grow their social circle, and invite other kids over so they will realize that they will still have other friends even with kids moving away. Plus, reach out to some parents and school some “new friend” activities.
FIND PERSPECTIVE
Remind your child that the move will likely be more difficult for their friend than it is for them. Try to give your child the role of being sympathetic toward their friend. Point out that it is the friend who will have to adjust to new surroundings, start a new school, make new friends, etc.
STAY CONNECTED
- Schedule Regular Calls or Video Chats: Plan weekly or bi-weekly virtual hangouts to catch up.
- Send Messages or Letters: Texts, emails, or handwritten letters can make your bond feel special.
- Social Media: Share updates, photos, or funny moments to maintain your connection.
- Create A Shared Project: Start a shared activity like a book club, online game, or even a workout challenge.
PLAN A VISIT
Talk with the friends’ parents about planning a visit a few weeks after the move. This of course depends on the distance of separation and the age of the children – not exactly a possibility in our case as my son’s best buddy is moving to Asia! But when possible, kids realize that they will still get to see one another and visit a new place in the process! It gives them something else to focus on rather than their own feelings of grief and loss.
HELP YOUR CHILD CREATE A FRIENDSHIP KEEPSAKE (An excellent best friend moving away present!)
Photos, notes, or small gifts from your friend can remind you of your bond. Wondering what to get a friend moving away? A gift exchange is something that the kids can do together, like making a book or photo album for themselves and for their friend that is moving. Maybe even exchange special toys to remember each other by. Here are some more thoughtful gift ideas for a best friend moving away:
- Customized Friendship Scrapbook – Fill it with your favorite memories together. Include photos, ticket stubs, and notes from your time together.
- Engraved Jewelry – A bracelet, necklace, or keychain with a meaningful phrase like “Best friends forever” or coordinates of your favorite spot together.
- Message Jar – Fill a jar with handwritten notes or quotes they can read when they miss you.
- Throw Blanket – Cozy and comforting, reminding them of home. Like a hug from your family or friends that moved away.
- Playlist or Mixtape – Create a digital playlist with songs that remind you of your friendship.
A best friend moving away gift can become a treasured item. During times when your child is upset, the gift can be a wonderful reminder of the friend that has moved.
LET THE EMOTIONS FLOW
Allow your child to feel the many different emotions, from anger to despair to grief to sorrow. This is normal. Although there is nothing that you can do to change the situation, you can be there to support your child. Whatever you do, avoid minimizing the situation, which will make your child think that you don’t care.
KNOW THE REASONS WHY
Make sure your child understands why their friend is moving. For instance, for many military families, moving is a natural and normal part of life. When your child realizes that the family is moving away because they have to, or because of a job they might be better equipped to handle the move as maturely as possible. This can help to diffuse some of the anger and resentment that they may feel about the move.
RELATE TO THE SITUATION
You as the parent have definitely experienced a close friend or family member moving away in your own life. Get some of your compassion from that experience and share your thoughts and feelings with your child. Tell them the ways that you have remained close and connected despite the distance. This also shows your children that you really do understand how they feel.
HELP YOUR CHILD FEEL CONNECTED HERE AFTER THE MOVE
While your child may suffer through times of extreme sadness, grief, and loss you should do everything possible to keep them as socially active as possible. This can be a great time to sign them up for a sport or special interest program (golf camp is on our summer agenda). Staying busy is the key. The more time your child can spend doing things with other children, the less time they will have to feel sorry for themselves.
5 Excellent Quotes About Friends Moving Away
Here are a few quotes about friends moving away for inspiration.
“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” -Winnie-the-Pooh, Author A.A. Milne
“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” -Paulo Coelho
“The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again.” -Nicholas Nickleby, Author Charles Dickens
“Good friends are like stars. You don’t always see them, but you know they’re always there.” -Unknown
“The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.” -Elisabeth Foley
Your child might even want to make some artwork with one of the quotes about moving and saying goodbye that he or she likes best. Art is a great form of expression and it could be a great friend is moving away gift.
Conclusion
When your best friend moves away, it’s natural to feel a mix of sadness and loss, but it’s important to remember that true friendships can withstand the test of distance. By staying connected through calls, visits, and shared activities, you can keep your bond strong, even from afar. Though the change may feel overwhelming at first, it also opens up opportunities to grow individually and build new connections locally. Cherish the memories you’ve shared, and look forward to the new experiences you’ll create together, no matter where life takes you both. Distance may separate you physically, but it doesn’t have to separate your bond.
I hope you find these tips helpful for when your child’s friends are moving way. Do you have any tips to add to this?
Rob Youngblood is an Emmy Award Winning TV Host, Men’s Lifestyle Expert, Single Dad, Keynote Speaker, and A Guy Who Talks for a Living! You can follow him on Twitter.
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Oscar Gonzalez says
Great advice. Adults tend to be a lot more “clinical” or “cold” about moves and it definitely is “real” for kids and can affect them deeply. One thing that I would add is a way to help them stay in touch with their “old” friends when possible.
Ruby Drake says
Fantastic tips! If your children want to feel sad let them. It is really important not pushing them. My son had troubles adapting for 2 months. I helped him as much as I can. But Children should cope with it by themselves. It is the most important thing. Greetings!
Erma Townsend says
I can understand that it is difficult for the kids when they or their friends are moving to a new place. In my case we are the ones moving away from the friends and the neighborhood that we have always lived in. My son is really depressed because of that and I want to help him get over this. His best friend is also unhappy, but unfortunately there isn’t much to be done. As we are not moving to the end end of the world but just to the other side of the city, I’ll make sure that the kids see each other often enough! Thanks for sharing this post!
Susie Fisher says
This is such a sad thing… My son’s best friend is moving to another city and he is not ready to except this so easy. I am trying to explain him and make his mood better by telling him funny stories and showing him funny posts on the Internet. I know that this is not going to make him forget, but at least will make him laugh! I am really happy that there are options to talk on Skype and to go visit him! Thanks for the lovely post!