Well, my Friday morning this week included having my son’s elementary school evacuated because of some nut job on Twitter randomly threatening to blow up the school! Thankfully, everything was fine and local police did a great job of handling the situation. But of course, it scared many children (and parents) and once again reminded us that there are scary people and scary things that happen in the world everyday.
I instinctively went to school, as did many parents, to get my son and make sure that he was ok. We talked about the situation and I made sure that he wasn’t scared and understood what happened. Great communication with your child is paramount in raising smart and aware kids. We can’t shy away from the tough subjects.
How To Talk To Kids About Scary Stuff They May Have Seen On The News Or Heard About
Here are a few great tips on how to talk to children about scary things that sometimes happen.
LET YOUR KIDS START THE CONVERSATION
There is a lot of frightening news that we all read, see, or hear every day. You don’t need to talk to your kids about everything but, if they ask definitely start the conversation. Perhaps someone was talking about it at school or they saw it on tv and, if they’re asking about it, it’s on their mind and it’s good to talk it out.
TAKE YOUR CHILDREN SERIOUSLY
Don’t dismiss your child’s feelings or tell them that you will explain it when they’re older. Kids are more aware than we realize and allowing them to ask questions and tell you something that is on their mind will solidify that they can talk to you about anything.
TELL THEM IT’S OK
Kids have seriously big imaginations and they are at a developmental stage where they will internalize everything. They will think about how this will effect them, will it happen to them, or someone close to them? Assure them that they are safe, that things will be okay, and let them know it is fine to talk to you about their fears any time. Allow your child to express what they’re feeling.
KEEP IT SIMPLE
You don’t want to overwhelm your child with too many details, but you do want to answer their questions. Keeping the answers brief and simple will help kids follow and understand the conversation.
HELP THEM WITH THEIR EMOTIONS
Children don’t always have all the words for what they are feeling and that in itself can be scary. Kids may not understand that it is okay to be angry, upset, sad, or scared so helping them identify what they’re feeling can help them start to deal with all of it and move forward.
You don’t want to lie to your kids – you want to be honest in your answers, even if your answer is “I don’t know.” As I always say, you don’t need all the answers. You don’t need to be prefect – you just need to be present.
SEEK COUNSELING
It’s not a bad thing to seek professional counseling for managing grief or scary news. There is no shame in getting good advice and help for your child and yourself. You can do family therapy or have someone for your child to talk to on their own.
The world is a scary place but you have all the tools you need to make it just a little bit less scary for your children. As always, take nothing for granted and cherish every moment with your child. Life can change in the blink of an eye.
I hope these tips were helpful for you in figuring how to talk to your kids about scary stuff. Which tips were your favorite? Do you have any experiences with this you’d like to share?
Rob Youngblood is an Emmy Award Winning TV Host, Passionate and Inspiring Speaker, Communication Coach, and A Guy Who Talks for a Living! Learn more about him at youngbloodlifeandstyle.com. You can also follow him on Twitter.
I do try to keep it simple, but I never lie to my kids. I tell them the truth, but as gently as possible.
Age appropriate honesty is best – What a scary situation for you, your family & your community! Gld everyone was ok – thanks for sharing your story.
Great insights! I’m so glad that you support counseling. It can have a stigma, but counseling is such an important part of the healing process for many people.
Great post! We live in CT just a few towns away from Sandy Hook so tough conversations keep happening with every policy change and drill. Thanks for the tips.
It’s so hard sometimes because their little minds can’t think like grown ups do but being honest and open with my three year old, while helping her find words to explain her feelings seems to help.
Such scary, yet important things to be able to talk about with our kids. We learned a lot after Newtown and it is so sad that we have be so explicit with kids about danger sometimes. Hugs!
Thank you for these tips! We’ve had some scary conversations, too. We try to be honest, but not make them too scary. I just hate it all!
i like the tip to keep the conversation guided by the children. We are just getting to the stage where my kindergartner is more aware of what the news channel. I’m happy we haven’t had to have too many discussions yet.
Unfortunately speaking about scary stuff is a frequent reality. I think keeping it simple is key. Many times they don’t need very much info to feel satisfied. My tendency is to always give more than needed, but I’m working on that! Letting them guide the conversation is crucial.