Today’s post is a bit unusual. I received an open letter from a reader who wishes to remain anonymous but who asked me to publish her piece. While this is something I rarely do, I heard her request and considered it as a public service announcement.
I wish to stress that these points of view are not my own and that I think the sentiments she expresses are certainly not limited to “Asian Mothers”. All parents, moms and dads of every race, are responsible for raising their children with family values and good moral principles. Besides that, as adults, we must take responsibility for our own actions and choices. I did see the value in many of her points in a more general way though and I thought I would open it up to discussion here.
Open Letter To Asian Mothers On How To Raise Their Boys
Dear Asian Mothers,
Stop raising spoilt men. You are not making strong men for society but rather you are setting them up for failure, setting them up where they can’t keep a job or even get a decent one, setting them up for divorce, setting your grandchildren up with unreliable and irresponsible fatherless children. These spoilt men destroy lives and ruin families. While you are so willing to do EVERYTHING for your son, just know that no other woman in the world is willing to do that – NOT THEIR WIFE. Perhaps, you did that for your spouse and thought its OK, but guess what, in today’s age woman value their time as well and women will not be doing that for their husband. It doesn’t mean that they love them less. It just means that they have lots of other ways to better tackle their time. So raise a man and make sure they understand the following:
A man is someone who:
– Someone who pays for everything and is there through thick and thin and doesn’t just think of themselves
– Someone who is there in a woman’s life when she needs it the most such as pregnancy, childbirth, post recovery, child rearing, and funerals. Someone who doesn’t just push her to her mother’s house during those times.
– Someone who is able to take care of their parents and their wives parents
– Someone who is able to put away their ego and help around the house and cooking as needed.
– Someone who thinks about their hygiene as important as they would want their spouse to take care of theirs
– Someone who has life long goals to constantly develop the best version of them self and see an enhancement over each decade.
A man isn’t the following:
– Someone who tricks you into loving them and makes you buy and pay for 80% of the expenses using emotions or religion as a reason for the need.
– Someone who tells you to marry them and to keep it a secret. Why can’t you share such happy news with the ones who mean most to you? What are you afraid of? Ohh I see, your lack of manliness and your insecurities being discovered
– Someone who asks you to give up your life and family yet they can’t give up theirs.
– Someone who expects you to be their other half and be their version of perfection yet they can’t do that for you or be at least 15% of a religious man
– Someone who comes to a relationship unprepared or someone who throws a bombshell the night before an important day
– Someone who claims they are religious
These things aren’t apparent in relationships. Usually you notice them thru time. How much time should one wait before one figures it out? At least 6 months.
Women married to spoilt men
There is no question that a happy marriage takes work and both parties have to willing to bring their best selves to the table. So what are your thoughts on this anonymous letter from my reader?