Playing sports can be a tremendous experience for kids. I hope when you think back to when you played sports games for kids, you have wonderful memories of having fun and learning new skills. Here are some tips for sports parents to help keep the sports games fun for everyone.
Sports Parents Rock
When playing sports for kids, children can get very emotional based on whether they win or lose a game or match. Unfortunately many well-intentioned parents say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Being a sports parent is a very important job and what you say can really help support your child to grow and learn to face challenges in a positive way.
It is important to remember that after a game, it is a critical time when they are still recovering from the intensity of the game. They can be elated, upset, indifferent, or angry. Their emotions will run the gamut just like yours do. That is part of why sports games for kids help build confidence, focus, determination, mental toughness, and the ability to bounce back from adversity.
Knowing what to say and how to say it will help you form a loving bond with your child. It is important to help keep the doors of communication open and you even provide an important model for other crazy sports parents!
As sports parents you can really rock your child’s world in a positive way. They will appreciate you being there for them all the time and coming to their games.
Tough Loss Or Exciting Win? 7 Tips For Communicating In A Positive Manner After Sports Games For Kids
Be Positive
Be a positive source of support and encouragement. Save any evaluation for the coaches and just be an unconditional source of support.
Be Attentive
Be an attentive listener. First step, ask your child if they want to talk about the game or something else or nothing at all. They will tell you the truth and wish adults would ask that question. If they do want to talk about the game, we all love to share our experiences, so allow them to talk about the game. Listen to understand first and then reply. Try not to get into the details of the game if they are still dealing with the emotions. They may just need time to get over it.
Support The Coach
Avoid undermining the coaches, even if you think they were out to lunch. They are the leaders of the team. Second-guessing the coaches will confuse them and ultimately you may undermine the team chemistry and hurt their relationship with the coach.
Tomorrow Is A New Day And Tough Work Will Pay Off
Following tough losses or poor performances remind your child that their worth as a person is not related to their abilities as an athlete. Help them recognize that tomorrow is a new day and that with hard work they can overcome anything that is keeping them from their goals. Tell them in your own way that you believe in them!
Focus On The Good
Find specifics to tell them what they did well, but be honest and sincere. You can get yourself into trouble by saying “good game” or “you did your best”, if Billy does not think this is true. You may get a sneer or sarcastic remark back. Be supportive in your comments, but do not lie or exaggerate. Kids tend to focus on their mistakes and screw-ups. Just help them start to focus on what they did correctly.
Keep Sports Game Traditions
Stick to your plans no matter the outcome of the game. If you planned to go to stop for ice cream after a win, do the same after a loss. Otherwise, your child might relate your willingness to do activities after the game with their winning and losing. Having a game day tradition is an extra way to create family fun.
Avoid Comparing Your Child To Other Children
Avoid comparing the child to other children even as it relates to training methods or skills. It can create hurt feelings and create pressure.
Conclusion
Riding out the emotions until they subside goes a long way towards making sure you don’t become one of those out of control parents at sporting events! Ultimately, as sports parents, you want to have a plan of attack in your mind for post-game. Get your emotions under control and check your body language. Give them a hug or a pat on the back. Remind yourself of what matters so you can share that naturally with them – being a good sport and giving your best effort.
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Sheena says
Very helpful tips you got there! It’s nice to know that there are topics like this discussed on your page. It helps a lot! Awesome!
Craig says
We need to give kids 10 times the amount of encouragement as we do correction and pushing.