Call her what you will – mom, mother, mommy dearest – we all have a mother. She can be different things to different people. She can range from being the greatest joy and blessing in our lives perhaps, to the greatest challenge we may face, in life. (Remember of course, this is most likely also how our mothers see us, too!) I want to talk a little bit about the incredible relationship you have with your mom. Here is some advice on how to improve mother daughter relationships and why that is so important.
This post is contributed by Tara Brooke, model, businesswoman, and author of “Beautiful Ambition.” In her book she talks about everything women want to know about – from finding Love, what men are looking for, to manifesting your dreams.
A Closer Look At The Mother Daughter Relationship
by Tara Brooke
If you are anything or even a little like me, then you have a very close relationship with your mother and you completely enjoy one another. Now that I am an adult, my relationship with my mom is better than ever. Of course, being a teenager was a difficult time, because I did not get along with anyone at that stage and anything that my mother had to say, would frustrate me faster and deeper than anyone else.
Moms do such a good job at showing love and affection to us, that we start to take them for granted, because we know they will always love us. This, of course, is NOT the best way to behave – especially to someone whom you love! Unfortunately, though, it happens quite a bit. The fact is, that sometimes we give the worst treatment to the ones we love and that love us the most – those closest to us.
Mother Daughter Relationship Breakdown
Conversely, you may have found that you were really perhaps NEVER able to bond with your mother and/or get really close to her. I have several friends that have experienced this kind of situation and it truly is the most difficult, because it follows you throughout your adult-life! You just sink when you acknowledge and know that you do not have the “closeness” that you truly desire and so much long for.
Why Mother Daughter Relationships Are Important
Many times, this lack of intimacy with your mother, can lead to problems with eating disorders, substance, or drugs and alcohol abuse. Women start to seek out other things, as replacements, just so they can “feel“ better. With eating disorders, most are then merely looking for love and attention,for the majority of the time. In most cases, it very well may have less, little or nothing at all to do with the actual food itself.
When I talk about the importance of getting along with women in our lives, I place heavy emphasis on our mothers, because the relationship with our mothers is truly important to a woman’s life and well-being. I want to offer some encouragement to you, if you are reading this and feel that maybe you do not have the best relationship – the one that you desire with your mother.
The fact is that there are so many reasons why parents treat us a certain way while we are young and growing up. However, the most important thing for you to know is, that even if you were not shown the kind of love and affection that you wanted, I promise that you were and are still very much loved today!
If you may feel deprived of a loving relationship from your mother, this most likely has to do with the way she was shown love and affection by her mother and even her father.
Teenage years can be extremely volatile and thus also very difficult on the parents! REMEMBER: they only want the very best for you (even if/when it does not feel like it). Sometimes it takes years for you to understand that.
Healing Mother Daughter Relationships
Maybe your mother went about it all wrong, but she probably had good intentions. You are an adult now, so it may very well be the time to decide and opt to move on, putting the blame-game and finger-pointing to rest.
Once you turn 18 years old, you are responsible for who you become and what you accomplish. Let us forgive and learn to develop the ultimate female relationship, the one with our mothers, to its fullest potential and capacity. Let go of any resentment, anger or hostile emotions.
As you begin to grow as a mature, self-confident woman, you need to deal with things that are not always pleasant –even things from your past. Moms, a lot of times, DO NOT get credit where credit is due, so take this opportunity to tell her what she means to you. Reach out in love and try to find common ground. After all, she is the only mother you have!
I hope you find these tips for how to improve mother daughter relationships helpful. When you become a mother, you look at mother-daughter relationships in a whole new way and I think it offers a bit of a new perception. How is your mother-daughter relationship?