This open letter is straight from my heart to any woman that does not respect the meaning of a wedding ring and pursues or allows herself to be pursued by a married man. It is written to help you understand what the wife goes through from my own experience. This letter applies to all of those that engage in emotional affairs and/or sexual cheating and ignore the significance of a wedding ring.
Open Letter To The Woman Who Doesn’t Respect The Significance Of A Wedding Ring
Maybe you don’t know what a wedding ring means. Sure you know it means taken, but you think maybe it really just means fun challenge. Nope. It means 23 years that I loved this man. It means 15 years since we both said “unto death do us part.” It means 3 babies of his that I have given birth to. It means more “I love you”s than you can conceive of. It means hard work, compromise, and tears that we have shared.
Maybe the fact that you are ignoring the sanctity of marriage means nothing to you. Maybe you think if you can take it, then it is yours. Well, what you steal still belongs to someone else. And you aren’t just stealing from me, you steal from my children. You steal, the father that was a hero in their lives. You steal the words right out of my mouth because how can I tell them? What do I say?
Maybe your grandmother never told you to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Well, I hope you learn that lesson eventually and I am sure you probably will when someone else, some day down the road, doesn’t respect your husband’s wedding ring.
Maybe you are just in a low place and really need some love and didn’t stop to think about what it really meant to anyone besides yourself. Well, it means you put me into a low place. A super low place where everything I thought I had, everything I thought was rock solid, is shaken. And I have to pick up the pieces and go on even though I was betrayed or I have to call it quits and shatter my world and my children’s world.
I know this isn’t all your fault, but frankly, you should not underestimate how your simple, selfish actions can ruin other people’s lives. Oh, do you think I am being over dramatic? Try explaining that my children as our lives are turned upside down and I wonder, do we have to move? Do they have to go to a new school? Will I be able to keep myself together and be a good mother to them when I feel like my head and heart are exploding?
Wedding Ring Meaning
Think twice before you ignore the wedding ring meaning because you will be breaking so many hearts. Don’t start down the road of flirtation or you may wind up where that road leads and there is nothing good there for the wife, the husband, the children, or the homewrecker. That damage takes years to forgive and sometimes the unexpected consequences can not be undone.
Word to the wise:
Don’t believe him when he says that the marriage is on the rocks. They all say that to give themselves permission. If they are wearing a wedding ring, it means they are married and committed to being a partner. If they had a rough patch, it doesn’t mean it is OK to go outside the marriage. They need to go home and work on it. Water their own grass. The contract was till death do us part, not till I feel like I need a little extra attention from someone else. Please respect the significance of the wedding ring. It signifies someone’s heart on the line. Will you help to smush it? You may never get to see the blood run out of it, but it will. I felt like I had a literal hole in my chest for at least a year. Or will you say I want no part of that?
One Final Point:
I used to wonder why a wife would often seem more angry at the homewrecker than the husband. Now, I understand. In my own personal experience, the homewrecker was the one who made the advances so naturally I felt that this would never have happened if not for her. Don’t misunderstand me, I was not more angry at one than the other. My skin crawled at the thought of both of them. But what boiled my blood was that this stranger would so carelessly entice my husband at the expense of my family. That lack of empathy was startling. Just as it was startling to realize the man I was with for almost a quarter of a century was doing and saying things that were not fitting with his own character. You can have NO idea how life shattering an affair is until it happens to you.
If Your Spouse Cheated On You:
You may want to read After The Affair. It helped me realized I wasn’t alone in my feelings. I wasn’t crazy or over reacting. I did a lot of reading of many books to try to make sense of things. To try to calm my new but overwhelming anxiety and to try to raise myself out the grips of depression that overtook me. I did a lot of talking (thank you to my secret listeners). I went to a counsellor. And after about 8 months I felt my head break up above the surface again. I struggled and I still struggle sometimes but I have grown stronger and I choose to look at the good things in my life and be thankful for those.