For a toddler, sharing toys with another toddler can be a very real challenge. In fact, young children often can’t willingly share until they are developmentally ready, about age three or so. Even before then, however, toddlers are reaching the critical social and emotional milestones they’ll need to become generous sharers later on. Parenting toddlers can sometimes be tough. Here on some tips on how to teach toddlers to share and when they are ready to learn more about sharing. I am sure you will enjoy these age-appropriate strategies you can use to make sure that the Season of Sharing lasts all year round!
How To Teach Toddlers To Share: Age-Appropriate Strategies
Sharing At Age 1-2:
What He’s Learning:
Independence. Your role is to encourage him as he takes the initiative to explore the world on his own.
Your Strategy:
Don’t force it. (At this stage, forcing a child to share may shake his confidence in his own abilities.) Instead, pack a few extra toys in your diaper bag and gently redirect children who show interest in a toy your child is using.
Also key? When a child shows you a toy, take the time to engage with him and show interest. While not “sharing” in the classic sense, he is inviting interaction – which builds the foundation for sharing later on.
Sharing At Age 2 ½ :
What She’s Learning:
Empathy. An essential part of becoming a willing sharer.
Sharing Strategy:
At this stage, children are more likely to offer to share when they understand how others are feeling. When you see an opportunity to share, talk to your child about how her friend might be feeling. “Your friend seems upset and she is reaching for your rubber ducky. I think she likes the squeaking sound it makes. Do you think she wants to play with it?”
Sharing At Age 3:
What They Are Learning:
Cooperative Play. When you can begin to expect him to take turns and share.
Strategy:
Now you can really begin to build positive sharing habits. Give your child the option to keep some special toys, such as favorite new holiday gifts, for himself. Explain that these toys need to be kept out of sight before a play date or when younger siblings are around. Our family’s mantra is, “If it’s downstairs, it’s to be shared.”
Encourage positive sharing during calm playtime before conflict arises. Help children ask each other for a turn. Give children the chance to resolve emerging conflicts themselves. “There is only one toy vacuum cleaner and you both really want to use it. What could we do to make everyone happy?”
If children have a hard time coming up with a solution, help them by providing ideas without solving the problem for them. It’s also a good idea to give the child who is waiting for a turn ways to stay engaged in play. “When Daddy and I vacuum together, one of us moves furniture out of the way while the other one pushes the vacuum.”
Conclusion
When teaching toddlers to share, it is important to remember these age appropriate suggestions. Keep expectations about sharing in line with your child’s age – and be patient. Once children reach milestones in their social and emotional development, they can surprise us with their ability to share willingly and generously. I hope these tips for teaching toddlers how to share keeps you more in line with where they are developmentally and approaches for talking to your child about sharing. What are your tips for encouraging toddlers to share?
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Amy Boyington says
Great tips! I’m a pre-k teacher and sharing is definitely one of the biggest struggles for my age-group (3-4 year olds) but I feel so accomplished once things start kicking in for them and they begin to tell each other how to share! Talking with kids, giving them suggestions, and letting them make suggestions about sharing makes such a difference.
Jill says
I totally agree with managing expectations. Great tips!
Crystal @ Castle View Academy says
Ah yes, I remember these stages well! At 5 & 7 my children are pretty good at sharing, but they do occasionally need a little reminder. Laying the foundations when they’re young makes the work later on easier.
Anne Campbell says
Having different expectations for different ages is really important. Sharing takes some time to master–even for adults! 🙂
JANICE TRINH says
Great tips. It’s good for parents to know that there are developmental stages even when it comes to sharing. Thanks for sharing this info!
Michelle says
Any tips for teaching high functioning autistic children to share? My four year old has major meltdowns when asked to share anything and with a younger sibling hitting the “I want to play with what you have too” stage, I feel like I’m doing nothing more than refereeing squabbles and soothing meltdowns all day! It’s driving me crazy! (Quick add, am a single parent so can’t get other half to intervene, plus I have two teenagers who are as bad, if not worse, to deal with)
Scarlet says
Hi Michelle, I don’t have personal experience to share with you but I do have a contributor who I will ask to write about this. In the mean time, I found a resource here faculty.caldwell.edu/kreeve/sample%20apa%20paper.doc and http://www.autismhelpforyou.com/Sharing.htm I hope those help!