How To Teach Kids To Share

For a toddler, sharing toys with another toddler can be a very real challenge. In fact, young children often can’t willingly share until they are developmentally ready, about age three or so. Even before then, however, toddlers are reaching the critical social and emotional milestones they’ll need to become generous sharers later on. Parenting toddlers can sometimes be tough.  Here on some tips on how to teach toddlers to share and when they are ready to learn more about sharing. I am sure you will enjoy these age-appropriate strategies you can use to make sure that the Season of Sharing lasts all year round!

Why is Sharing Important?

Teaching sharing is important because life is never going to be about just your child. Children need to learn to accept early that human beings live cooperatively and that they survive by helping each other. Sharing skills enrich a child’s character, teach them generosity, and make them likable people who are more likely to thrive in future situations. Being a good parent includes teaching children traits like kindness, empathy, and sharing to ensure they have happy, successful lives. After all these types of generous people make the best spouses, employees, friends and future parents! With that in mind, here are some tips for how to teach a child to share.

Childhood is the only chance parents get to help their children grow up into well adjusted, happy adults. During this time is when children have the opportunity to learn to understand social behavior and how to form good relationships. A huge part of that is learning to work cooperatively and empathize with others. At some point, all of this requires some form of sharing. This makes sharing a vitally important social skill to teach children.

When to Start Teaching A Child To Share

As a child, sharing is an important aspect of making friends, having successful social interactions with peers, and being successful in school. The younger the child, the more naturally self centered they will be. This makes it important to teach children sharing skills young. In this way bad habits don’t set in and become difficult to avert. Although most children don’t fully understand the concept of sharing until about three-years-old, until then it’s possible to use distractions to avoid conflicts by diverting their attention away from disputed items and onto new activities.

How To Teach Sharing: Age-Appropriate Strategies For Toddlers

Sharing At Age 1-2:

What He’s Learning:
Independence. Your role is to encourage him as he takes the initiative to explore the world on his own.

Your Strategy:
Don’t force it. (At this stage, forcing a child to share may shake his confidence in his own abilities.) Instead, pack a few extra toys in your diaper bag and gently redirect children who show interest in a toy your child is using.

Also key? When a child shows you a toy, take the time to engage with him and show interest. While not “sharing” in the classic sense, he is inviting interaction – which builds the foundation for sharing later on.

Sharing At Age 2 ½ :

What She’s Learning:
Empathy. An essential part of becoming a willing sharer.

Sharing Strategy:
At this stage, children are more likely to offer to share when they understand how others are feeling. When you see an opportunity to share, talk to your child about how her friend might be feeling. “Your friend seems upset and she is reaching for your rubber ducky. I think she likes the squeaking sound it makes. Do you think she wants to play with it?”

Sharing At Age 3:

What They Are Learning:
Cooperative Play. When you can begin to expect him to take turns and share.
Strategy:
Now you can really begin to build positive sharing habits. Give your child the option to keep some special toys, such as favorite new holiday gifts, for himself. Explain that these toys need to be kept out of sight before a play date or when younger siblings are around. Our family’s mantra is, “If it’s downstairs, it’s to be shared.”

Encourage positive sharing during calm playtime before conflict arises. Help children ask each other for a turn. Give children the chance to resolve emerging conflicts themselves. “There is only one toy vacuum cleaner and you both really want to use it. What could we do to make everyone happy?”
If children have a hard time coming up with a solution, help them by providing ideas without solving the problem for them. It’s also a good idea to give the child who is waiting for a turn ways to stay engaged in play. “When Daddy and I vacuum together, one of us moves furniture out of the way while the other one pushes the vacuum.”

How To Teach Kids To Share

Point out the behavior. “Did you see how Suzy shared the seat with her friend? That was really kind.” Play games where you take short turns so they get the familiar with the concept of you go, then I go, they you can go again, and I can go again.

Model Sharing. You can model the sharing behavior and talk about it when you do it too. Take a bite of something and then say, “Now I will share with you too. It is nice to share.”

Give praise. Even before your child may intentionally be sharing, you can notice if they put down a toy and another child picks it up and say, “That was really nice of you to share and let them have a turn.”

Explain the other point of view. When children are old enough, it is good to explain the value of sharing. Children can begin to understand that being willing to share can show that you are friendly and want to be friends. They can begin to understand that sharing is a nice way to welcome someone new and make them feel comfortable.

It’s important to note that although sharing is an important skill, it’s unrealistic to expect young children to share all their most prized possessions. Even children deserve to have their feelings and opinions respected, and a good way to show them theirs are is by allowing them a few special items which they aren’t expected to share and which even adults must get the child’s permission to handle. Knowing they have special items which are off limits to others will help them accept that they are required to share their other toys or items and will also help them understand why it’s important to respect other people’s property or special items.

Teaching Sharing Skills Pays Off

As an adult it may not seem like sharing is as important a skill to have; however, it is still of vital importance, just in different ways than it was as a child. One basic example is in relationships with significant others. Often times in these relationships there are items which must be shared such as a television, a car and of course the living space. Many couples have broken up over one or both people’s lack of ability to share.

Selfish behaviors that weren’t corrected as a child are then carried into adulthood. These selfish behaviors give others the impression that they are self-centered and materialistic, and that they place the importance of things above other people. Teaching a child to share will help them cope and adapt to an adult life where they’re expected to be more accommodating and amicable. Instilling these types of important family values at a young age allow them to function better and enjoy people more.

Conclusion

When teaching toddlers to share, it is important to remember these age appropriate suggestions.  Keep expectations about sharing in line with your child’s age – and be patient. Once children reach milestones in their social and emotional development, they can surprise us with their ability to share willingly and generously. I hope these tips for teaching toddlers how to share keeps you more in line with where they are developmentally and approaches for talking to your child about sharing. What are your tips for encouraging toddlers to share? We’d love to hear them @familyfocusblog!

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