Relationships are stuff life is made of. We develop relationships with people in different ways and these relationships can be nurturing, constructive, motivational, deflating, or demoralizing. Each relationship is different. Some relationships are easy and obvious, others take work. If you are like me, you like to avoid confrontation and you may back away from hard conversations, but sometimes it is necessary. Today, I am privileged to share an excerpt from Sandi Krakowski’s new book, #BEMORE, on the subject of relationships and dealing with the tough stuff.
How To Live A Powerful Life And Tend To Your Relationships
Throughout #BEMORE she shares what wisdom she’s learned as a wife, mother, and business owner. Sandi’s story is one of pain and heartbreak followed by redemption and learning. #BEMORE is an inspiring guide to creating your powerful life. Sandi has been named a Top 20 Online Marketing Influencer of 2014, a Top 20 Women Social Media Influencer, and a Top 50 Social Media Power Influencer by Forbes. Sandi is passionate about using her skill set to not only help businesses reach their full potential, but to also encourage and motivate individuals to do the same.
#BEMORE is broken up into five different areas in which Sandi challenges her readers to be more: to be more connected to God, more in tune with yourself, more attentive to your relationships, more engaged with your community, and more mindful of your world. Within each section is a series of short “secrets” in which Sandi breaks down how to actually and tangibly be more in that area. The following is a secret from the “Be More Attentive to Your Relationships” section.
(Excerpt Reprinted With Exclusive Permission)
Don’t Back Away From The Tough Stuff
Being positive and living a life that is powerful doesn’t mean everything will always be happy or easy.
We are not promised a life free from struggle or strife. Some of the most rewarding experiences we will have in life come with the price of hard work, difficult encounters, and painful choices.
There are times in my life as a business owner when I need to ask an employee to account for poor performance. There are moments in my marriage when my husband and I have to talk about hard things. There have been periods as a parent when I have to confront my children about their behavior. During these times I need the wisdom of heaven, the love of an accepting God, and the fortitude of a Champion.
I will face difficult choices, things that make me uncomfortable, and decisions that are scary. And yes, even things I absolutely hate to do. I will have to take on all of these to get the kind of life I am dreaming of.
Responsibility. Accountability. Wisdom. They are big words and tough to live by. They are nearly super powers in this age. But, when combined with joy, hope, and love, they will take you farther, help you last longer, and create better relationships.
We have to do hard things to live powerfully. We cannot avoid the tough stuff if we want anything in life that is truly worthwhile. We don’t get to behave like cowards and expect to become champions. If greatness came easy, it wouldn’t have any significance. If everyone could do it, it wouldn’t be special.
Life is messy. We don’t all get along all the time. Even the most caring people with the best of intentions make mistakes and hurt those they love. The right thing isn’t always what we choose. So, we have to have grace. We have to have forgiveness. We have to have courage to take on the tough stuff. We have to work hard to BE MORE.
People learn by what we do, not by what we say. Being a leader doesn’t mean you’re perfect, but it does mean your life is an example!
I hope you enjoyed this excerpt and found it motivational in helping you keep your relationships fruitful ones. You can find out more about Sandi Krakowski and her works at arealchange.com
How To Have Hard Conversations (Don’t Avoid Them)
I have found that avoiding hard conversations doesn’t really work in serious relationships. The problems don’t magically go away. Often times they get bigger because they aren’t addressed. It is like a splinter and that needs to come out in order to get better. I love Sandi Krakowski’s advice to not back away from the tough stuff. Now I want to share some excellent advice on how to have those hard conversations.
ON Point, Next Level Leadership, does a lot of coaching clients on how to successfully navigate hard conversations. They say ultimately that is important to have a plan before confrontation. They also share a step by step plan that makes it a lot easier to start the hard conversation and a lot easier to navigate and even exit if needed. Check out this action plan to help you navigate hard conversations with confidence, compassion, and control.
Action Plan For Having A Hard Conversation
I hope you pin that graphic and save it for later because hard conversations come up at home and at work and even in parenting and it helps to have an action plan.
Do you avoid confrontation? Have you found it leads to bigger problems down the road? I hope this motivation and action plan make it easier to address small issues before they become big issues.