Whether you are the parents of a newborn or are soon expecting the arrival of an adorable new little member in your family, your lives are definitely going to undergo a substantial change in the days to come. When my husband and I became new parents, there were some changes like sleepless nights and less time for each other that we expected. What we didn’t realize however, was that being new parents comes with a hoard of surprises that you will have to adjust to as you go. Such situations often caught us off guard thinking –“We hadn’t seen this coming”! Well, here are the top 10 surprises that I came across during my new journey called parenthood and some words of parenting advice for new parents.
10 Things You May Not Expect & Parenting Advice For New Parents
1. You Will Forget What Free Time Felt Like
When all that you do revolves around feeding your baby, changing his diapers and putting him to sleep, you’ll realize what a laidback life you’ve lived all this while. In the first couple of weeks after our baby was born, my husband and I struggled hard to align our schedules to that of our baby’s. Things were even harder when my husband was out to work. Let alone finding time for leisure, I had a tough time even managing the basics like showering. Before you hit the panic button, let me tell you that things won’t stay this way forever. Give yourself at least a month before you get into the groove of handling the responsibility of being a parent. Wait for things to get more streamlined with time. The newborn stage passes quickly, so try to enjoy the little moments, even when they’re challenging.
2. Your Relationship With Your Partner With Change
You and your partner were once probably the clichéd romantic couple, who could never get enough of each other. With your little one coming into your lives, you’ll realize how much will change in the relationship that the two of you share. As you two spend all your time with the new love in your lives and get little time alone, you will notice that your bond will only strengthen.
Along with love, you two will also develop deep respect for each other. Seeing my pampered husband turn into a deeply caring and responsible dad, gave me another reason to love him with all my heart. With that said, you may want to work on planning some fun date night activities at some point to keep the romance alive. These words of advice for new parents are some of the most important. This is a new phase where you may have to work harder on the relationship to keep it a focus with so many other distractions.
3. There Will Be Major Disagreements On Your Baby’s Name
Among the many surprises for new parents, you may be least surprised by this one. Choosing a name for your baby isn’t a task that looms large only on you and your husband. Be ready to have your entire family come up with great (and sometimes not-so-great) name ideas for your baby. My husband and I waited until our son was born to name him, but things would have been far easier had we done our name research well in advance. Ensure that you don’t get bogged down by the name suggestions by your extended family members and choose a name that you and your partner equally like. Sure there will be a lot of disagreements, but looking back in hindsight you’ll realize how much fun the entire process was!
4. Your Social Circle Might Change
While you and your non-mom friends would once bond over impromptu holidays and late night parties, you will now find yourself connecting better with new moms facing the same breastfeeding and nappy-changing troubles as you. As much as you try, things aren’t going to be the same with your old friends, especially if they aren’t parents. When my single girlfriends would plan anything together, they’d ask me to join and my answer would always be -“I can’t”. It reached a stage when they eventually stopped asking and we drifted away.Things weren’t all that bad as I did make a couple of other mommy friends at a park down the road where I’d take my little one out for a stroll, everyday. These are important words of advice for new parents- make other parent friends as you will need their moral support!
5. Your Priorities Will Change
From planning exotic backpacking trips to planning your baby’s future education, your priorities as parents are going to get a major facelift. Bringing a new member into your family means a lot of responsibility, not just physically and emotionally, but also financially. When it comes to your baby, social obligations are sure to take a backseat. My husband happily sacrificed his usual Friday beer nights with his buddies just so he could get more time with our little one.
6. You Will Need A Helping Hand
It’s a good thing to be a hands-on parent, but it’s even better to do that without overburdening yourself. I remember how nightmarish it used to be managing my baby alone without my husband when he’d be off on business tours. In an attempt to avoid bothering anyone, I did (or tried to do) everything by myself and eventually burned out. From that day onwards, I’d ask my mother to live with me whenever my husband would be out travelling. That way, I at least managed to catch some sleep when I needed it. Don’t forget the fact that the only way you can take care of your baby is by taking care of yourself.
7. You Might Forget To Take Care Of Yourself
If the baby hasn’t arrived yet, you are probably thinking, what?! If the baby has arrived, you are probably thinking, I sure did. Self-Care is key. Make time for yourself, even if it’s just a short walk or a relaxing bath. Your well-being is crucial for your ability to care for your baby. Also, be patient with yourself. Parenting is a learning process, and it’s okay to make mistakes. Don’t be too hard on yourself. The best advice for first-time parents is to be kind to yourself and take it one day at a time. Parenting is a new experience with a lot to learn. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, but remember that just showing up every day and caring for your baby is a huge achievement. Don’t let self-doubt take over.
8. Establish a Routine
Create a predictable schedule. Babies thrive on routine. Try to establish a consistent pattern for feeding, sleeping, and playtime to help them feel secure. Sleep when they sleep. Prioritize your rest because sleep deprivation is real. Try to rest when your baby sleeps, and don’t hesitate to ask for help so you can catch up on sleep.
9. Don’t Compare
Avoid comparing your baby’s milestones with others. Each child develops at their own pace. My husband got at book at the library that said what to look for at each stage and he wound up returning it because it was stressing him out. Every baby is unique.
10. Trust Your Instincts
- Keep it Simple: In the early months, your baby needs food, sleep, and love. Don’t stress about doing everything perfectly.
- Skin-to-Skin Contact: Spend time holding your baby close to strengthen your bond. This also helps with breastfeeding and soothing your baby.
- You Know Your Baby Best: While advice from family members can be helpful, trust your instincts when it comes to your baby’s needs.
Conclusion
I hope you found these words of parenting advice for new parents helpful. Parenthood will bring about a change in the smallest of things, sometimes without you even realizing. One of those is your ability to love unconditionally. Your baby will make you realize the meaning of true love and give you the strength to withstand any troubles that life may have to offer. Your new baby will help you grow into a stronger and a better person. There are a lot of surprises for new parents but there is truly no relationship as pure and beautiful. Enjoy being new parents!
As you embark on this incredible journey of parenthood, remember that each day is an opportunity to learn and grow alongside your baby. While there will be challenges, there will also be countless moments of joy, love, and wonder. Embrace the journey with patience and kindness towards yourself, and know that you’re doing an amazing job. Cherish the small victories and lean on your support system when needed. Most importantly, savor every moment, as these early days will become treasured memories before you know it. Welcome to parenthood—you’ve got this!
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Evelyn says
Great list! I’d add that changes to my body were also a big surprise:) But loving it all.
diane says
Thankfully we didn’t have any major disagreements over names but the other ones are pretty much spot on! Having a baby is a huge game changer!
Aubrey says
These are all so true. Free time? What is that? Your circle of friends definitely changes, especially if none of your friends have kids yet.