I have been married for 11 years- 12 in March! My goodness, how time flies. Plus, we were together for 9 years before we got married. We met freshman year of college and I was surprised to find myself wanting to be around him all of the time. He was fun and funny. He was silly and wild. Before you know it, I realized he was just want I needed and wanted. In the beginning you don’t need love tips, the romance comes naturally like wildfire. Fast forward 20 years, and we are still happily married with 2 wonderful kids who are 7 and 9. Marital bliss, right? Well, not exactly. There are times when we have to work to rekindle our relationship and bring romance back to our marriage.
Maybe you can relate? Romantic relationships tend to lose their fizzle. You know. You get busy with the job, the kids, the cooking, the cleaning, and all the everyday responsibilities. Then, you forget to put in the effort that a long-term relationship needs to thrive. You make relationship mistakes. So here is your wake up call- you need to put effort into your relationship! We all have busy schedules but a little effort goes a long way. Here are my top 10 romance and love tips that have helped us keep our marriage strong. At the end of the day, we all crave a romantic partner that cherishes us.
Romance Tips For Rekindling Love In Your Marriage
I love this great love romance quote from John Lennon. It is just like he said:
“We’ve got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can’t just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it’s going to get on by itself. You’ve got to keep watering it. You’ve got to really look after it and nurture it.”
So go ahead, rekindle that romance! Here are ten romantic love tips to rekindle a relationship. These are just to get you started in a process that should never end. What is actually romantic is when you can see someone is trying to impress you because they love you and want to win your affection. It is the effort that is romantic! It turns out the most important thing in an intimate relationship is feeling you are important and desirable to your partner. Without that feeling, love begins to fade.
10 Marriage Romance Tips To Rekindle Love
1. Little Things
Love is in the little things. So do little things you know your partner loves or appreciates! And remember to look for the little things your partner does and appreciate them. My husband always takes out the trash- Thanks Sweetie! I always greet him at the door with a kiss. Doing something little that your partner has been wanting will let them know you are paying attention to them. It is a great way to make an emotional connection and show them you love them. Love is in the small gestures, making eye contact, physical touch, being a good listener, and expressing appreciation. Your partner is probably longing for all those things too. Give and see if you receive. If all else fails, ask for what you need.
2. Play That Song
Most couples have certain songs they listened to when they first got together. Dig a few songs up and remind your partner how special they were. “Remember when we first listened to this song in the truck parked under the big live oak trees while it was raining?” “Remember when you sang this to me karaoke style on Bourbon Street?” Enjoy the memories together and show some affection. Relationship experts will often suggest remembering when you first felt that spark together and talking about that first date. Songs are just one way to help you feel those feelings of desire that you felt in the first place. Playing those favorite songs that put you mood may just grease those rusty gears.
3. The Way To The Heart Is Through The Stomach
We’ve all heard that one and even though it is not as simple as just that, a good meal never hurt! Fix your partner’s favorite dinner or bring home their favorite chocolate bar just because. They will enjoy it and it shows them you care and are thinking of them. Some of the best love romance tips are actually in the small details like this. A special meal alone for just the two of you with some candles and soft music will help make your intentions clear. Pay close attention to your partner and touch them in loving ways that them notice you can’t keep your hands off them.
We all like to be listened to and validated. So let your partner finish the whole story and this time, try not to relate it back to yourself. Just listen and validate them. You don’t always have to fix it. Sometimes we all just want someone to understand how we feel and feel it with us a little bit. This type of emotional intimacy and quality time is important. We all long to be able to express our own feelings and get positive feedback. Use your active listening skills to show that what they say matters to you.
5. Put Your Heart To Paper
Love notes are the best. Something as simple as a handwritten one liner or as long as a letter- whatever moves you. My husband doesn’t ever write me love notes but he does get me the best greeting cards- ones that make me laugh “I hate it when you leave but I love to watch you go (and a hamster with it’s butt wiggling when you open and shut the card)”. The cards tell me he does notice all the little things I do and help him express his love in just the right way. I can always tell he must have looked through a lot of cards to find that perfect card that really puts his heart on the paper. Say something that about your particular situation that shows you actively love and appreciate your partner and that you always will. Nothing is more romantic than that!!
For me, snuggle time is so important to making me relax and feel happy and loving. Take a few minutes in the morning before you get out of bed to cuddle. Cuddle on the couch. Hold hands when you go walking. Enjoy each other’s company. Gentle, affectionate touch helps put you in the mood for more touching;) Snuggling and showing physical affection can be the first step to rekindling your sex life!
Did you know? “Hugging and other forms of nonsexual touching cause your brain to release oxytocin, known as the “bonding hormone.” This stimulates the release of other feel-good hormones, such as dopamine and serotonin, while reducing stress hormones, such as cortisol and norepinephrine.” –Dignity Health
A well placed, soft and slow kiss can go a long way to renewing sexual intimacy and improving your love life. A back rub can turn into an interest in sexual pleasure. Remember, the art of foreplay and take your time building up. Anticipation can be a fun thing.
7. Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff
Remember in the grand scheme of things, you love each other and the fact that he didn’t put down the toilet seat that one time, well, you might just let it go this once! It is hard to be romantic if you get upset about every detail and visa versa. Lack of acceptance is often what makes us feel unseen and unappreciated. Remember all the good qualities that you noticed at the start of a relationship? I bet they are still there. Now that you have left the honeymoon phase, you don’t want to take for granted how important this person is to you and how much they do for you in their daily routine.
8. Do Something New Together
Experiencing something together that is new and fun and exciting may help get you out of a rut. Go to a new restaurant or better yet, go zip lining! Get NFL tickets or whatever new experiences you think you will both enjoy together! You may even want to make a couples bucket list of new things to try together. A healthy relationship requires that you are creating new memories together.
9. Do Something You Haven’t Done Together In Ages
We left the kids and went out dancing on Broadway Street here in Nashville. We hadn’t done that in ages and ages and it was so much fun. It is always good news to know that you can still get out and have fun in rowdy ways like you used to do!
10. Make Time For Intimacy
One of my most powerful love tips is to not overlook the importance of sex. I know you can be tired after a long day of work or chasing kids. I know this that and the other comes up, but make time. If you have to mentally schedule it in, then do it. Maybe plan date nights without any children to start with. Swap sleepovers with a friend who also has kids so you can both get a kid-free night with no babysitting bills. Intimacy is important in relationships and you’ll be glad you gave it the attention it deserves. If physical intimacy isn’t happening at least once a week, talk about it. Think of possible solutions to make sure you get your partner’s needs and your own needs met. Affectionate physical contact is an important part of a happy relationship.
OK. Now, enough talk. Go show your partner how much you care about them. They may think you have forgotten! Go ahead, wear your heart on your sleeve, #PutYourHeartToPaper, speak with your actions. That is how to rekindle a relationship! I hope these love tips help you find your mojo. Have fun sweeping your wife off her feet for a change! Have fun seducing your husband for a change. Do what it takes to bring the fun back to the relationship. I hope you start rekindling the romance in your marriage today!
Every long term relationship will go through ups and down. If you have to put in a little hard work to get your relationship back into loving territory, do it today! These small steps should start you on your way to get that spark of love to reignite into a nice roaring fire. Do you have any personal stories or advice for rekindling romance? What are your best love romance tips?
How To Improve Communication In Marriage
Nicole B says
I think your love tips are great – and right on about everything. It is important to value your partner’s strengths. I am going to have to remember to do the “Little Things”.
Uplifting Families says
Marriage takes work. We went to a counseling class before we got married and they told us never to assume that the other person did something intentionally to hurt us. Your spouse isn’t a mind reader and doesn’t know if you don’t tell them.
I agree that one of the best ways is to continue to date your spouse after you get married. Thank you for sharing these important tips and suggestions.
Katie @ Pick Any Two says
#4 is huge for me! I really am not a great listener; I’m one of those people that gets so excited to share my thoughts and reactions that I don’t wait for the other person to totally finish. Really bad habit, I know! Thanks for this reminder, as it’s something I need to work on, especially with my hubby.
Love love love this romantic relationship advice! My hubby and I don’t have a song though there was one that I was always going to play at my wedding and we didn’t have a traditional one. I think I’m going to play the song tonight and dance in the living room together as a simple way to bring back the spark:)
Yep, a successful relationship is hard work. How about it’s a good idea to put the computer, iPhone iPad down too. Its the small things and it takes a lot of effort to not take each other for granted.