Guest post on how to “Love the One You’re With”.
14 Simple Ways to Show Your Love
Whether you’re madly in love, still looking for love, or in a snit with the one you love, the suggestions below are surefire ways to jumpstart more luvin’ feelings in your life. Just choose one of these suggestions and try it out — on your spouse, your beau, yourself, or a friend. Or for those who crave a larger dose of feelin’ good, try one a day for the next 14 days!
1. Make a Love List full of silly, sweet, funny, poignant reasons why
you love someone. When you’re mad or disappointed, read this
list! When you’re happy and in love, add to this list. If you’re sad or
lonely, make a Love List for yourself, a relative, or a friend.
2. Share the things on your Love List with the person for whom you
wrote ‘em. Mail ‘em in a card. Send one text message every hour.
Write them on notes and hide them in their shoes or coat pockets.
Make a poster. Leave voice messages on their phone.
3. Pretend like you are meeting your spouse or beau for the first
time. Choose someplace new, where neither of you have ever
been. Arrive separately. Catch eyes across the restaurant or café.
Introduce yourselves using names you just made up that suit your
mood. See them (and yourself) anew.
4. Surprise them on an any-ole-day. It’s not his birthday. It’s not your
anniversary. It isn’t Valentine’s Day. It is Tuesday the nothing and
you make a candlelight dinner or you buy him that gizmo he’s been
drooling over or you offer an hour-long massage and kissfest.
5. Be the dashing, witty, sexy, romantic, fun person you have always
longed to be in relationship with! Dress up in sexy clothes, tell funny
jokes, focus on the positive, talk to strangers, be dynamic and
6. Listen. Focus all of your attention on them. (Try reflective listening in
which you actually repeat back verbatim each sentence they say. It
is amazing how good it feels to the recipient to know someone hears
7. Try something new together that you’ve always wanted to do. Now.
8. Find a way to transform your anger or snits into something fun. Buy
and wear big puffy coats so you can smash into one another. Put on
your favorite music and dance. Have a sword fight with foam swords.
Speak in feigned accents. (When my beau says, “Hey Boo Boo” like
Yogi Bear, it is impossible not to laugh!)
9. Collect and print out your ten favorite photos of the two of you in
which you’re truly happy. Hang them someplace you’ll see them
often. Let yourself feel the joy again and again and again.
10. Be vulnerable. Tell something you wouldn’t tell anyone else or that
you’ve been afraid to say.
11. Choose connection over being right or proving a point. (Ooh, that is
hard. But wow, does it pay off in spades!)
12. Get those unmet needs met — someplace else. Don’t expect
anyone in your life to be everything to you.
13. Be present. This is the number one best way to connect — and the
very best gift you can give.
14. If you don’t have a partner, or even if you do, do all of these things
for yourself. Loving the one you’re with starts with YOU. If you love
and enjoy yourself, you’re well on your way to loving whatever
wonderful and imperfect Valentine is in your life or about to show up
in your life.
To help you get started on creating more love in your life, download the
free Love List template and make one for yourself, your spouse, a friend,
Sherry Richert Belul is mom to a witty and wonderful 10-year-old
boy. She is also founder of Simply Celebrate and author of Present
Perfect: It Really is the Thought That Counts —an ebook that includes
dozens of creative-not-crafty gifts that are fun to make and full of
love. Find her books or sign up for Simply Celebrate’s free newsletter
at www.SimplyCelebrate.net. Email Sherry to tell her your Love List
experiences, ask questions, or learn about the one-of-a-kind tribute books she makes at [email protected]
You may also like to read Five Ways to Make Your Marriage Last.